Yizhi and Zetian: Shimin is gone so we killed the emperor, both our families, landed a giant Chrysalis on the palace, took over the government and declared war on heaven
Sima Yi: Why??
Yizhi and Zetian: He's like, 85% of our impulse control
Uncle Iroh is a really smart , wise man , and he’s always so helpful to Zuko , but he really did him dirty with that hair style on his date
Like this is one of the few things that Iroh did wrong adjsktv what the hecc Iroh
You mean that haircut so painfully, obviously awful that any self-respecting date would immidiately ruffle it, thus guarunteeing Zuko the first bit of friendly touch from someone other than his uncle for more than three years? Or the haircut so bad that it will imidiately trigger mocking jokes and help break the tension that Zuko is so prone to?
Iroh wins again.
pai sho is a game about planning and taking into account the opponents potential moves.
Nightmare of the Wolf 2 but it's vesemir's living nightmare raising the kaer morons
Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book. It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.
there’s a timeskip
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!
IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH
AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because
THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING
AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA
BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM
HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK
#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick
yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.
i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.
Imagine being Hannah Shepard, your kid dies, comes back two years later very much not dead but now working for a terrorist organisation, they don't call or anything you have to hear it through the grapevine.
So your kid is alive, then they blow up a Batarian solar system, vanish beyond the Omega 4 Relay before charges can be brought, then show up again in earth a few weeks later insisting that the Reapers are coming. Your ship is posted out in the middle of nowhere because the brass don't like that you've turned down the offer of promotion and then publicly roasted then for the publicity stunt of trying to make you an Admiral. There is a very real chance you won't get back to see your not dead kid before the Alliance hand her over to the Batarians for justice or dole out the death penalty themselves.
Then the Reapers actually do show up, so you fight. People die. Your kid has apparently regained command of their ship and is now hosting several of the most prominent figures in the galaxy on board. You still haven't seen them since before they died.
Several months later you finally, finally get to see your kid having managed to just barely line up shore leave to match.
They're late to the meeting point. There's a report about C-Sec vehicles having been set in fire playing in the background as a juvenile Krogan sulkingly eats spicy noodles in the seat next to a turian you recognise from the vids about the original Normandy. The turian attempts to make awkward small talk with you about heat sinks, you find out later this is your kid's boyfriend. The Krogan juvenile orders his sixth bowl of noodles and complains about being grounded. Your kid arrives just in time to hear the complaint and promise a new dinosaur toy if the Krogan behaves and doesn't light C-Sec on fire again. The Krogan is your grandson now. Apparently he's been your grandson for about a year. Your kid forgot to write you about it. Again.
The Turian compliments your supportive waist in the awkward silence that follows and asks if such things are normally hereditary amoungst humans. Your kid facepalms.
It's a good day
misslacybeewrites